you might be a gamer if.....

You don't think of a Russian bazooka when someone says "RPG".
You use game stats to describe things in a movie. (Well, Han just blew his Fast-Talk roll)
The game master smiles, and you know it's too late.
Your blood pressure rises when the subject of "Dark Dungeons" comes up.
You know the singular form of the word "dice".
You can figure the odds (in your head) of getting a certain result when rolling variable sized dice pools.
You own a 30 or a 100 sided die.
you've ever spent a significant fraction of your life modifying game rules that you didn't like... and, as soon as the system worked to your satisfaction, discarded it.
you've ever seen the old AD&D tv series.
you've ever gotten into a screaming match over something that happened in a game... (You are so dead! I am not dead!)
you've ever neglected to buy the new edition of your favourite game because you already have three.
you keep old characters around just in case someone might run that system again. (Never mind that its TS: SI)
You knew what I meant when I said TS:SI.
you have a PhD in manipulating point systems to the best effect, even though you failed high school geometry.
you can consume your body weight in junk food in one gaming session.
you consider Party rings, Salt-&-Vinegar crisps, and Dr Pepper a balanced diet. (or even an acceptable combination.)
you have been known to drive to far away places where you paid enormous amounts of money for the privelege of sleeping on floors, eating crap, buying little pewter statues of Gandalf, and meeting dozens of psychopathic members of the alternate (or similar) sex who will follow you around for months, merely for the pleasure of playing with gamers you don't know. and then signed up en masse with all of you friends to play in games with game masters who you've known since high school.
you own your own weight in gaming books.
you can do AD&D money conversions in your head.
you consider the 20th century a state of mind.
you have a random NPC generator, written in BASIC, designed to run on the Trash-80 or the Commodore 64.
you've ever designed your own character sheets.
you can be more that three NPCs at the same time without generating more than reasonable confusion in your players.
you have ever played a Dwarven character who did not have "axe" or "beard" ANYWHERE in his or her name.
you know how to sex dwarves. (chromosome typing- required a blood sample. I'M not getting it...)
you've ever tried to explain gaming to a school counselor, parent, or other PW/OC (Person With/Out Clue).
you've suceeded.
you've played Talisman more than once.
you've finished a game of Talisman... more than once.